Life in the top tier: One Airman's account of life during the holiday season

  • Published
  • By Tech. Sgt. Jeff Walston
  • 917th Wing Public Affairs
BARKSDALE AFB, La. --  The holiday season is upon us again. Being 49 and single with no children in the continental United States and a family that is dwindling like ice in the Arctic, I thought it prudent to pass along this story on how I keep myself happy during this, the most festive of all seasons. 

You see, I was not always the jovial character one often witnesses running around the base with camera in hand and a smile etched from ear to ear. Oh Nooo. 

There was actually a time I was depressed by the fact I had not found that special someone. Yes, at the age of 45, I was still without my one and only, that angel from heaven I would happily spend the rest of my life with. Many instances had passed in my life when I saw a parent chasing a screaming child down an aisle at the local grocery store, and I dreamed of being humiliated by my own uncontrollable brood and longed for the fresh smell of poo. 

So now, I'll take you back to Thanksgiving 2003, to a night at my favorite restaurant, that changed my outlook on life forever. 

It seemed like any other night. However, the participants were somewhat different. There were couples versus families, young and old, that may not have wanted to deal with the family bickering of all the many gatherings of the season. Maybe this year it would just be Christmas. 

Now, I don't mind sitting at a table by myself, I'm pretty good company. But, tonight the bar was empty, and I felt the bartender needed a good conversation. For all I knew, she could have been that special someone. Of course I know better now. But I digress. 

Anyway, a few minutes into my conversation with, we'll call her Laura, I turned to see an elderly gentleman sitting on the stool next to me. Now, I didn't see him sit down, but I knew he was there. It would seem the older you get, the more you need to talk to strangers and tell them of your past deeds and visitations to the worlds beyond the normal man's grasp. This man was no doubt the master instructor of the class.
A few minutes later, I could only assume it was my turn to talk, and I could not think of anything worth saying. Some might find that hard to believe, but how do you top someone with those extraordinary life experiences and why would you want to? I started feeling worse about myself than I had when I walked in the door. 

"So what do you do, and why aren't you with the wife and kids, if you don't mind telling me?" asked the old man. 

"I not married," I replied. "I made myself a promise in 1977; I would never marry while I was in the military. I'm not going to leave my wife alone or have her feel the pain of my absence, and I have been in the Reserve ever since. I work for a local grocery company, and I do a little movie making and acting on the side." 

"Well, I want to thank you for your service and of course for your terrible sacrifice. I don't think I could have made it without the wife and kids. But, I got married so young I never got to be in the military, or be an actor, but I always wanted to be as a boy. That's funny, here I sit next to a man that's done what I wanted at the same time that I've done what he wanted," said the old man. 

Personally, I could only think it wasn't that funny, and when was the food going to get here so his mouth would be full. 

"I heard a statistic once," he said. "Only one percent of all actors ever get to achieve the mega-stardom or recognition of a John Wayne, Denzel Washington or Mel Gibson. One percent. I guess that's why I never got into acting, or maybe that's what I tell myself to feel better." 

He continued with his rant. "And I read somewhere that only one percent of the American population has ever served in the military. Only one percent of this big ole United States has made it possible for the other 99 percent to do what they do everyday. One little percent of the population has made it possible for me and my family to sleep in peace every night. Can you believe that?" 

"I've never been in the top one percent of anything. So you're telling me I'm in the top one percent of the U.S. population?" I asked. He just smiled. 

From that day forward, when I am feeling down and overwhelmed by...anything, I always remember what the old man had to say. I know what he meant. I am the John Wayne of the Air Force! 

On that particular night, I  needed to hear something good about myself, and I did.
And if you need to hear it, then so does somebody else. They may be sitting right next to you someday, and you may never know it. So take the time to say it. You never know how it may change a life; it might even save one.